Who I Really Am
by ThisIsSomebody
Summary: Peyton struggle with her self, she is lost and there's only one person who is not here anymore that can get her out of this misery, this has to do with family, love and friendship. Some LEYTON AND BREYTON


This is my first fic so please be gentle in the Reviews

This is a Story about finding our self and be who we are destiny to be .

The centric in this story (one chapter) is Peyton, also contain some LEYTON AND BREYTON.

**Who I really am**

"Happiness comes in many forms - in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else's dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be."

I'm Peyton, I'm PEYTON these are the words that I used to try to convince myself. I don't know why I'm doing this; who am I kidding? Of course I know why I'm doing this. Some part of me just wants to scream and hurt somebody but I don't know who. This right now; the way I feel in this exact moment was a long process started when I was a kid and my mom died. I was only eight years old and my whole world change and flipped upside down. My dad from that moment on started to travel more and more; and I think the main reason of that was because the house, my "home" was a constants reminded of her.

Then I was always, I mean always alone in my house, the only exception was my best friend. I grew up with her, her parents also were never at home so she was always at my house. We would play games with Barbie's, then we started wearing makeup and then finally we started getting drunk and partying like hell. But every time I would start to feel the way I feel right now I went to a bridge; our bridge and she would always be there, we would sit in silence for long periods of time and she would support me and help me clear my head. In those moments I felt that I wasn't alone that I would always have someone, she would always be my best friend my. But now I'm alone in a sea of darkness and I can't find the way out.

There is a boy, not any boy; THE boy, his name is Lucas Scott and he changed my world. No matter how harsh I was with him, no matter how much I pushed him away from me out of fear; fear of being rejected for showing me just the way I am with my defect and all, fear that if I love someone so much they are going to die just like my mom. He always came back to me, he always found a way to save me, I just never realized that I can't be without him; that I'm always going to love him, I'm just so screwed up but now he is gone and I'm all alone in a sea of darkness and I can't find the way out.

I was making my way home when a see in the street a car accident the car was turned over and really destroyed. There was no one in the street just me, I ran and finally I was able to see who was in the car, there was a little girl and her mother.

"My name is Peyton I just called the ambulance, there coming just hold on" the mother was in a really bad shape and the little girl was fine with only some bruises.

She said to me "Please, please check on my daughter, she is only eight. " I went to try to help the little girl out of the car .

"Honey my name is Peyton, what is your name?"

"My name is Lisa" she said between sobs.

"I'm going to get you out of here and your going home with your mommy. You're going to be just fine." she was wearing a seatbelt so I cut it and lifted her up finally getting her free so I could pull her out.

She ran toward her mom. "Sweetheart I'm going to be ok don't worry, you and I are going to be great when the ambulance gets here."

"But mom you…you are bleeding really bad… I'm scared"

I was just a feet from them, I was watching this heartbreaking scene and then it came rushing into my mind, the memories of my mother's death it was so similar.

_"Listen to me and listen very carful you are going to be fine, I will be here with you always. When you are in trouble, I'll be there; when you fall in love, I'll be there. On your graduation day, on your wedding day, when you have a family, I'll be there. I don't want you to be scared, I want you to live and see the magic in all the things just like I see magic in you; you have made my life so wonderful you'll always be my baby….. I love you"_

The paramedic came and took the girl out of the car and away from her mom; there was no chance that this woman would make it.

In that moment I realized that not only was I wasting my life but I was making myself all the things that my mom didn't want me to be.

I never meant to push Brooke and Lucas away, it was only a way to make it easier, with the purpose of not passing from delusion to the heartache, and feel pain but that all I know. I know that I have to do something I can't just sit here and watch the world pass me by and I just let it.

So I went to see Lucas and Brooke to make everything right and no more lies, no more loneliness; only friendship and love, it was not easy I had to prove it that no matter what I will always let them see who I really am and who I really feel and their would always be there right beside me, by my side.

Only remains to say this:

**"I was in the dark for far too long, trying to make a right from the wrong**

**Holding on to anything near, trying to make everything clear.**

**You brought me toward the light, calling my name and fighting my fight.**

**It was you in my darkest night that pulled me toward the light**

**I sit now by the water, sun in my eyes, and my conscience is free of lies**

**You lift me up with your endless love, and it's the light you remind me of**

**I'm feeling the peace that you brought, I'm oddly uplifted by the war we've fought**

**You held my hand and lifted my chin, and it's your light I'm standing in."**

Now I'm NOT alone in a sea of darkness, now I CAN find the way out.

Thank you mom….. I love you.


End file.
